Self-indulgent post here, I’m afraid (skip at will). The below is a first-person interview piece with a Big Issue vendor, done as part of my coursework last year. I like to get a few of these pieces out somewhere now and then. Here goes:
“I had to leave my parents’ house. I was just a kid, and ran away from home. I’ve never been back. I’ve been “homeless” ever since. I went to the officials and explained my situation, and they put me up in a bed and breakfast, then a hostel. I was there for months.
You’re in a single bedroom, with a toilet in your room and not much else. The bathroom and kitchen are shared with a load of other guys. There are drugs everywhere, and you start using them more than you would believe.
It’s fucking horrible. I started by smoking dope, and thought it’s cool, then I’m taking speed and pills and all that in clubs and being the big guy. And, it’s just so different. It takes over a part of you. I’m a heroin addict. I’m not a using addict any more – I’m on methadone, but it’s hard.
I’m doing better now. I see young people who are dabbling, you know, and they think they’re really cool. They think they’re different, that they’ll be okay. Then I see them two years later – well, there’s a young lad at the moment, and two years ago he started injecting.
He’s twenty now, I saw him earlier today. His clothes were disgusting – his tracksuit bottoms were black, and he’s got dirt under his fingernails. He’s picked his face where he’s been smoking crack and looking in the mirror – it’s like a beard of scabs. When it’s so dirty, you know it’s not going to heal. Because I’m doing okay at the minute, I gave him some stuff – some jeans and a t-shirt – but what else can you do?
Watching this happen to your friends is tough. People have died in Oxford in the past year, through getting banned from the night shelter and not having anywhere else to go. They can’t get in to hostels – they don’t let you in any more if you’re not from the area, so they’re on the streets. Being out on the streets - well, if you’re not on anything, you usually are in a few weeks. And your use just becomes massive, it just becomes your whole life. Because it’s the only thing that keeps you going.
It’s a trap: once you become homeless, you stay homeless. There’s so much day-to-day support, you wouldn’t believe. I come in the morning to a place by the train station and get porridge, for 10p, and egg on toast for 12p, and you get coffee all day long. Then Night Shelter does dinner at half 12, and a place on Cowley Road gives you dinner for £1.10 at 5pm. Then round the corner the Gatehouse gives you sandwiches, tea and juice until 7pm. Then three nights a week the Christians come round and give us coffee and snacks. I don’t know why anyone pays for food round here when there’s so much for free!
You’ve got drug addicts and alcoholics, and you just give them free food, and Big Issues to sell, and they don’t have to make any commitment to change anything. Where do you think their money goes? At least no-one has to go thieving or shoplifting or hitting old ladies over the head for their handbags, but it’s an easy ride. So a lot of people, a lot of people I know have been in the same predicament for a long time, for ages, for years. Well, me too I guess.
It takes so long to get off the streets. You start out in the night shelters, or bed and breakfasts, and wait two or three years to get into a housing association – a shared flat in sheltered housing. They watch you closely there, you can be out after one mistake. I know one guy who was kicked out for letting one of his mates take a bath. Three years keeping your nose clean, working up, and you’re back in the night shelter. When you can live okay in the shelters, and it’s that hard to get out, you stay.
Homelessness is different now to what it was. It used to be working boys who drank hard and worked hard and split up with the wife. Go in the Night Shelters now and the majority of people are 30 years and under, and heroin addicts or young alcoholics; 25 year old men that look like 40 year olds.
You’ll find most of us are upbeat because that’s the way you’ve got to be, otherwise you just fail miserably. If we didn’t, you’d see Oxford, “the city of dreaming spires” with people like me hanging from them everywhere. I’ll be all right. It just might take a while, you know?”